Well that’s what was told to Martyn Bratby on the M20 by a Policeman who took exception to his bicycle lights! But it would be hard to explain about Autolite Generators and the 3 brush system.  Luckily Martyn found some spare volts and demonstrated his working lights.
Not the best of starts to a trip to the International Indian Rally in Denmark, but Tim Ball was his side kick so at least Martyn had company.
Next day they departed for the Channel Tunnel, with Anita, Pete, Bill & Lorraine Herbert.  Next incident was Bill’s Chief and sidecar having a terminal seizure in Holland, luckily it all fitted into the back of Lorraine’s van.
We met up with the team in Denmark not too far from Esbjerg at a good camp site.  The day was very hot and due to an oil pump problem Martyn’s Chief got very overheated as the sump filled with oil.  So every 30-40 miles it needed to be drained, don’t bother to use a discarded plastic oil container as they just melt!  in fact it got so hot that solder around the pickup tube melted and disappeared.
Mrs Berry (domestic Goddess) prepared a meal for all and we spent a nice evening exchanging travel tales.  We had crossed from Harwich to Esbjerg on the very expensive ferry to save time and distance, you need a mortgage to buy a beer on the boat, but they keep smiling when they take your money.
Next day the convoy travelled about 150 miles north along Denmark’s West coast to arrive at the Indian meeting.  More oil draining was needed, poor Martyn bravely struggled on, we stood around and offered advice.  Tim Ball wanted to do a full roadside rebuild, but we cable tied his tool kit shut.
The venue for the rally was the same as 10 years previously and we selected a shady spot for our corral.  Not too far from the toilets, but far enough, not too far from the bar, but close enough.  Great to meet up with old and new friends and admire spectacular Indians, and some very interesting other machines such as Mabeco and an Indian Anzani.
Friday was diagnosis day for the oil system and many experts were on hand.  Martyn stripped that oil system many times, ultimately changing the pick up tube to a smaller diameter one (borrowed from Bill’s Indian) appeared to rectify the wet sumping issue.
Good food was served in the evening and good music.
Saturday the ride out to a stationary engine museum, with lunch and good weather,  Mrs Berry wasn’t too impressed but the hot dogs were good.
Back at the rally site drag racing for those who wanted, the venue of the rally is run by Mosten MCC who run drag racing there.   British Indians didn’t disgrace the results!  Evening awards and food, music, drinking and dancing to the small hours.  A great atmosphere.
Sunday departures but we all stayed over until Monday to catch the ferry back.  Sunday evening we celebrated Liam’s 49th birthday with 24 volt Irish holy water courtesy of Paddy Guerin.
The others were due to ride back through Germany Holland to get the tunnel crossing on Friday.
So next year ITALY, get your Indian ready now! You really mustn’t miss it.

Tim Berry  

Denmark – The Road Trip
Off we go again on our jollies, this time to Denmark. We are meeting up at Anita and Pete’s where we were also meeting Tim Ball and Martin Bratby. We got there first and it was getting late when Tim and martin finally arrived with a tale to tell.
Martin was saving power by riding his chief with his main lights off and only using clipped on led bicycle lights on the M20, with Tim behind him on his modern Harley lighting his way, when the police pulled him over and told him to get off the M20 as he had no lights. The police asked him where he was going and he said Denmark and the police man replied “You’re going nowhere sonny”. Martin showed them that the main bike lights did work so were told to carry on but stay off the motorway.
So they set off again on smaller roads, they had to go on the A20 instead.  You would think Martin would know the road rules in this country but oh no, Tim was going the right way but when he looked over to see martin.  He was over the barrier going the wrong way along the bypass and there were other cars on the road heading for him. Somehow he managed to stay alive and get off the carriage way, arriving at Anita’s with no more mishaps. We all settled down for some sleep and getting up at 4am we all went down to the Eurotunnel for the 7.50 train, 4 bikes 1 van with a chief and sidecar in 2 bits inside.
Once in France we stopped at Auchens supermarket and while Anita and I were stocking up on wine the boys got the bike and sidecar out and put it together.  Once done we went on onto Adinkirk to stock up on tobacco. By now it was past midday and we had about 150 miles to do.  8.5 hours Later and 1 breakdown (Martin) and Bill stopping to switch over to reserve as the tap is tight and he keeps burning his hand (poor soul). 30 minutes before they close. They were expecting push bikes not motor bikes. I had to reverse to get onto the camp site, Bill had installed a reversing camera which came in very handy, then I had to turn sharply to get into the camping area and whilst doing this a tree jumped out at me and bashed me at the back of the side panel denting it and breaking my back lights.
After a few bevvies and something to eat we all settled down for a fresh start on Tuesday.  We decided to go on the motorway today to get to the next campsite in Germany earlier, this was not to be as it was a very hot day 36 degrees even on the motorway the bikes were getting too hot with the oil and petrol boiling. Bills bike stopped on the hard shoulder and thinking he was putting it on reserve Anita and martin carried on. We were now on the German autobahn.  Once Pete realised it was not just the petrol but a bigger problem Pete sent Tim off to let the other 2 know. Pete confirmed that the bike was dead so there we were, bike with side car, Pete and his Harley, me in the van stranded on the autobahn. No way could we take the bike apart and put them into the van with just 3 of us and it was too dangerous anyway. So Pete decided to tow bill off the autobahn with me behind with my four way flashers going. We pulled into a rest area hoping the others would be there, and while we were there a police car went by with his lights flashing. The others were not here so we phoned them and found out they were 3k up the road so we decided to tow the bike the 3k to the others it was a little hair razing as we had to go through a slip road but we got there safely just before the police car found us. He had seen us from the other side of the road and had been going up and down the carriage way trying to find us.
The boys played with the bike for over an hour before they decided it was not going to start so out came everything from the van and bike and sidecar were parted once more and put into the van (the side car is very heavy) so from day 2 this had to be done at every campsite take the bike out of the van and reload in the morning. By the end of the 2 weeks the boys had got this off to a t tee. Martin was still having trouble with his scavenger pump not returning properly and with the heat even Anita was having trouble starting her bike after refuelling. We got to the second campsite a little earlier. Wednesday we were meeting up with Tim and Sue Berry in Denmark. A couple of oil changes later for martin we arrived to a lovely meal made by Sue (Thank you very much) Thursday we all set of for the rally site and at least 3 oil changes later for Martin, we arrived at the rally to be greeted by horrible horse fly’s.
Apart from the flys the rally was great with good food and friends. Martin played with his bike for a lot of the weekend and ended up using bits from Bill’s bike to get his going properly so Bill’s bike was renamed the donor bike.
The journey home was less eventful as martin’s bike was now running sweet. During the return trip we attracted the police again when Martin broke down with water in the dizzie, we told him we were ok and he went away. It was now Pete’s turn to have trouble. His bike was not running well on reserve. Wednesday morning we set off just to get a mile down the road and Pete broke down. Trying to sort the problem he discovered a split rubber hose. Tim went off to try and get a replacement hose. We were in the middle of nowhere but he shone through and came back with some radiator hose which did the job. Wednesday night we stayed in comfort with martin’s friend’s jihhiena and Herman tjassing near Amsterdam (thank you for your hospitality). One more campsite on the Thursday night and then to the train back to England on Friday. We all went to Anita’s to sort the van out and to leave the chief for Pete to mend for Bill (it had lost all its oil and melted the piston) Thanks to Anita’s mum for the lovely meal and to Anita for organising the run. I am sure Anita and Pete will stop inviting us to join them as we never seem to go anywhere without trouble but at least the breakdown van did not break down this year. Thank you all for such a good time and will see you all again at Prescott, where we can start planning thinking about next year and Italy.

Lorraine "In The Trees" Herbert